My pa was a man of the sea. He used to say the wind was like a wild horse, no way to tame her. That’s just its nature. And that you can be sure in every voyage she’ll buck and blow you off course. Just a matter of time really. At some point we all lose our bearing. And when you do, ain’t no need to be afraid. You just gotta believe you’ll find your way again.
– The Book of Love (2016)
Intuition. It’s a funny thing, in’t?
Last night when I went to bed trying to catch some sleep, I got an idea about writing another ‘100 days’ story. And now that I get to actually writing it, it turns out that it is exactly 100 days until I embark on a new journey. Talking about perfect timing.
My first 100 days story I wrote exactly five years ago. I had just met the love of my life in a small riverside village in Laos and it was the first time in my life that I truly, madly, deeply followed my heart. I didn’t know this stranger that came into my life, but my heart told me “This is it. Go for it.”
So I went back to Holland, quit my job, sold everything I owned and decided to travel the world with this man.
It was an utterly irrational decision and of course for some people close to me, a quite scary one. They must have been thinking “What is she doing?”
Turned out to be the best decision of my life.
Exploring the world
Next to traveling Asia for over three years and exploring beautiful parts of this amazing continent, it has mostly been a profound journey for me as a human being. It has changed me in ways I could have never anticipated. It has taught me more than I could have ever learned in school or in a corporate job. It has enabled me to start pulling away the layers and layers of conditioning, education and experiences that I believed defined who I was.
Exploring the true meaning of life
It has taught me about love, too. I’ve learned to love like I never loved before. I has taught me that everything in life is impermanent – and even then, life is still beautiful. It has shown me that I’ll still keep breathing, even after the hardest of heartbreaks I’ve ever suffered from.
For some time, I believed these were the best years of my life. Because I took the leap, I took a major risk, and it all turned into something absolutely magical.
Until it didn’t anymore.
Back to the Netherlands
After traveling and living abroad for four years, I ended up living back in the Netherlands. In the small, southern village were I was born and raised. And this is where I hit rockbottom. No more traveling, no more freedom and time and space to just be. No more boyfriend, no house, no job. I had to start picking up the pieces again.
I spent three months in a yoga ashram volunteering, meeting beautiful souls that have helped me through probably the most difficult period in my life so far. But being away from the hustle and bustle of every day life, this has enabled me to connect to my Self again. To start putting back the pieces of my broken heart.
The best is yet to come
It stroke me when a good friend told me “the best is yet to come.” Because this is exactly what I once believed. I’ve always been a dreamer, a believer. I’ve always believed in rainbows, unicorns and making dreams come true. And now, honestly, I was just scared. I was so scared that it wouldn’t get any better.
This was extremely hard to take in. But I knew if I would keep telling myself that the best part of my life had just ended, the remaining decades would be horrible, boring and unfulfilling.
So this is exactly what I’ve been working on the past couple of months. To start believing again that the best is yet to come.
It’s all about the journey, not the destination
And this is also precisely why these next 100 days are so extremely important to me. Because in exactly 100 days, I will continue this journey of life again. On the 25th of September I will join the Nomad Cruise from Gran Canaria to Panama to connect, co-work and co-live with an amazing bunch of beautiful, creative and venturous people.
After arriving in Panama, I haven’t made any other plans than to do more of what makes me happy (and what scares the sh*t out of me at the same time.) I’ll live, work and travel as a nomadic freelancer with my location-independent creative studio.
Basically, I’m just following my heart once again.
Just like five years ago I can say “Yes, I’m taking a risk. 100 days. Destination: highly uncertain. End date: undefined. And I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy.” But hey, if it will only be a fraction of what I’ve experienced and learned the past five years, it’ll damn sure be worth the ride. Honestly, I’m afraid I’ll have to prepare for yet another unbelievable, indescribable and absolutely invaluable life experience.
So I will close with the same quote by Benjamin Franklin as I used five years ago. Because it still applies to this very date. It’s a very important and valuable precept for how I want to live my life.
“Knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst mistake, beats the hell out of never trying.”
What is the scariest thing you have done lately? Would love to hear why it scared you and what you have gotten out of it!